Thursday, June 17, 2010

I remember reading somewhere that the most read blogs are most frequently updated. That doesnt mean you have to post every crap thing that comes to your mind and I am a firm believer of the saying "Its better to remain silent if you have nothing good to say"


During the time I have been neglecting my blog ( yes, I admit it ) , lots of things have been going on with my life. End of my undergraduate life, the good byes and the anticipation of going to graduate school are the not so insignificant ones among them.

Blogging seemed to be a fad when I started this blog. All my friends were starting their blogs left and right and I must admit, for me it was more of a fad thing rather than really wanting to do it. Having no idea what I wanted to write about definitely played a big part in the blog losing its way. Sometimes, it served as a place for me to express myself and sometimes, the posts have slipped into a rant which is definitely not something I want the blog to be.

Writing has always been close to my heart. When all kids at schools hated long essays, I was one among those who loved writing and reading just for the sake of having an opportunity to share a story and my views about someone or something. And that I believe, is the direction my blog must go in- to share stories some true, some fictional, some heart warming but I hope each of them resonate in some way with the reader.

Also, I have made a little effort to make this blog a little anonymous and I intend to keep it that way. My close friends would probably recognize the blog but being anonymous, I believe, offers a lot more room for me to share my experiences.

A lot more stories on the way..

Until next time,
Bella

Thursday, January 14, 2010

"We must go to a movie".. My mom and my aunt were pretty sure about what they wanted to do for Pongal. They were overcome by nostalgia when tickets used to cost just 35 paise. After a lot of calls searching around for theaters ended up booking tickets in Mayajaal. It was sort of a family outing with both my and my aunt's family present in full strength. Ayirathil Oruvan was a much hyped movie and me and my cousins were looking forward to it.



The film started interestingly enough. An archaeologist goes missing in search of a long lost Chozha prince's location and a team is assembled to search for the missing scientist including the scientist's daughter ( Andrea ) and Reema Sen heads the search party. They encounter a group of tribal people who want to wipe them off the face of Earth and Reema Sen does a Tomb Raider Jolie and blows them off with guns in both her hands. The chief security officer of the party is too happy to help her. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood splashing around. To add to the decor, the tribal people were painted in red too..

According to an old manuscript, they must face seven obstacles before they reach the lost kingdom. One scene worth mentioning is the place where they come upon the huge pillars eerily similar to Stonehenge. The place is riddled with quicksand and how they cross it makes for interesting viewing and so does the part where Karthi Andrea and Reema turn mad and try to kill each other.

The second half covers their exploits in the scary blacky (what else do you call it when everything is black from people to the mood?) village. Here is where the director seems to have been profoundly influenced by Hollywood. The revelation of who Reema really is a twist but seriously it gets too much when she throws in a few 'kuthu' steps when she is supposed to be dancing classical dance to woo the king!! If you have watched the Mummy and the Gladiator you can safely skip the next half an hour of the movie.

As is the wont of Tamil cinema, the hero survives the Colloseum massacre ( involves torn away limbs and smashed heads of course ) and becomes a confidante of the king. They celebrate their new found friendship with a few kuthu dance steps thrown in !! After Reema betrays the king Karthi stands with the king in fighting against the intruders into his kingdom. To cut a gory story short, the king dies.

The movie is not all bad. Selvaragahavan's effort in creating a Hollywood style movie has to be appreciated for sure. Too bad the movie could have done with some sharp Hollywood style editing. The sheer magnitude of the movie's effects is great and to be frank I found some effects more realistic than the tsunami in Dasavadharam. One does wonder why Karthi has to chose such movies always. His effort is there but it is sort of repetitive- same gore same violence cant help feeling so. Reema Sen's performance is equally impressive but Andrea doesn't have too much to do.

Despite its positives, the feeling of the audience can be aptly summed up by the comment of the viewer right in front of me when the screen freezes on karthi carrying the only surviving member of the Chozha clan, the king's son into the forest. "Oh God.. Please dont tell me there is going to be an Ayirathil Oruvan Part 2". A little less blood, little less violence and little more editing could have worked wonders with this otherwise good and different movie


Sunday, December 13, 2009

You read many books, many words, many lines yet few of them stay in your mind and even fewer words make you feel wistful and nostalgic.. This poem was a part of my English class in school and it has been a favorite of mine ever since

A boat beneath a sunny sky


A boat beneath a sunny sky,
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July

Children three that nestle near
Eager eye and willing ear
Pleased a simple tale to hear

Long has paled that sunny sky
Echoes fade and memories die
Autumn frosts have slain July

Still she haunts me phantom wise
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes

In a wonderland they lie
Dreaming as the days go by
Dreaming as the summers die

Children yet, the tale to hear
Eager eye and willing ear
Lovingly shall nestle near

Ever drifting down the stream
Lingering the golden stream
Life, what is it but a dream?

Lewis Carroll

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I haven't blogged for quite a while now. Perhaps I could offer reasons like being busy but the truth was that I was just running around like a headless chicken without having a clue about what I am doing. It seems like I am busy all the time without getting anything done. I wonder what is wrong.. Have I got my priorities all mixed up or is it just that I have really too many things to be done? What with the applications, my final year project, my recos, SOPs and in all the confusion CAT has crept up on me so fast. I won't offer excuses. I could have done more but I didn't which is starting to bug me as the D-day nears.


Realistically speaking,for now all I can hope for is to do my other management tests well. In the meanwhile I have my third internal assessments in which I should do really really well or end up with an even lower CG and there is hardly any respite between my internals and semesters. It really is a bugging semester and to top it all off, my resolve to be detached from all emotional tangles has hardly held firm. When will I ever learn not to be so emotional?

On a funnier note, one of my friends asked me why I blog about sad things all the time and if I had nothing happy to speak about. It was a real eye opener. My answer was " I think I express sadness more eloquently than happiness.." Stupid answer really..A promise I made myself then was that I would not speak about sad things all the time. Yet this is precisely what I have done this time too.Really can't help it :(

Update on TOEFL : I got 116 :)

Until next time,
Bella

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Have you ever felt so angry and helpless that all you want is to run away to some place where no one can hear you and scream all your frustration away? What is it that hurts so much when the people who mean so much to you simply ignore you? Should we be understanding when they have their problems? Even if it hurts when each action is a thorn in your heart reminding you that there are distinctions that you had convinced yourself didn't exist?

No one has any idea of how much it hurts to stand on the periphery and watch things go by without you. Does the fact that you are not vocal about what you feel an excuse to treat you as if you were invisible even when you make it obvious that you are furious? Is it too much to expect people you think are close to sit with you and talk? Is it wrong to get tired of asking people to share? Sharing is something that you want to do spontaneously with someone..If that spontaneity is missing from that person, is it any wonder that you start feeling reluctant?

Standing outside a circle is hard. Even more so when you realise that your anger, sorrow, indifference and assorted other feelings dont elicit a response. Expressing what you feel isn't an option when all that runs through your mind is "What the hell.. they don't give a damn anyway" when you wonder if you are the last priority in all that is going on at one time and at other times you think all that is raging inside you is nothing but an reflection of feeling sorry for yourself.. It makes you want to rage at everyone and run away to a place where you just don't have to feel anymore..

P.S. It feels really bad when you have to indulge yourself in virtual screaming when you know that a few bouts of one-one screaming will make the blues go away and perhaps, just perhaps solve everything.

Until next time,
Bella

Friday, October 9, 2009

TOEFL scare :(

I have my TOEFL exam tomorrow and to be honest, I dont think I have prepared as much as I could have. I dont know even now if I have prepared enough. I would run and hide somewhere if I get a bad score. The only thing that is keeping me away from a panic attack is that it is English based. I kept telling myself "Dont worry.. it is english.." but on the other hand now I wonder if I have been complacent..I am arguing both sides of the question now :( Symptoms of sliding into panic..

Hope I do well tomorrow..
Keeping fingers crossed,

Until next time,
Bella

Monday, October 5, 2009

  1. Why is that some people just skip over unpleasant things and pretend that it never happened? It seems as if they don't give a damn what the other person thinks anyway. Occupies a place in my list of "things I hate".
  2. Is it really true that if you are around happier and confident people that you feel better too? Or is it one of those weird pschyological things?
  3. Which is better- to be the last priority to people you love and care about a lot or to have no one to either care for or care about you at all?
  4. Why is that that people who understand your silence and denials that your "nothing is wrong" indeed means "something is wrong" so few and so hard to come by?
  5. It is scary to tell what we feel in the deepest corners of our heart. Is it wrong to expect those closest to us to take initiative atleast until we are sure enough?
  6. Why is that something nags you inside, as if something is missing, someone could have said more, done more even when part of you knows it is stupid to expect everyone to be an literal antenna picking up whatever you feel?
  7. Last but not the least, why does it hurt so much when reminded of a friendship you had lost but thought you had gotten over with.. even when you know it was the best thing to have done what you did at that time?
Until next time,
Bella

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