Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Caring from afar...

When you love someone deeply and they are everything you have dreamed of it never crosses your mind that some day things may change. They are your best friends, they stay by your side and the best thing of all it isn't necessary that you have to tell them what you feel. They just sense it. Being with them you feel silence is the best form of communication. I once read somewhere.. "True friendship is when two friends sit together in silence and walk away feeling that they had the best conversation ever". You never realise how true it is until you have experienced it and if you have you are one of the lucky few in the world.
We hope with all our heart that we stay close forever but more often than not our hopes just turn into disappointment. Granted.. You have your fights, you hurt each other with sharp words and there would have been times when you think.. "Doesn't she ever understand how I care about her? And for all this care is it too much to expect atleast half of that back?"
Lots of people talk about being selfless.What they don't realise is that just expecting a person to care for us because we care a lot about them is one of the most taxing demands one can place on any relationship and one of the most selfish. It doesn't matter that we dont want other things from them. Nothing beats the moment when you come to know the person you feel so deeply about feels the same way about you too.Knowing that leads to other expectations..that we be the first person that they share things with,laugh with, cry with and sometimes we come to expect that they must put us before everyone else simply because no one cares so much about them.
It always is a matter of pride for someone to be able to tell that there is nothing that we do not know about the person they love. Be that as it may if the luxury of having that pride costs us the one they love is it really necessary? Is personal space important between two people who are very close or does wanting personal space mean that you don't trust the other person completely? I think it all depends on how you define trust. To quote.."If someone you love lies to you it isn't their fault. It is yours for it means that you did not give them enough space to tell the truth."
In the end, no matter how much you love someone, how much you care and how much you give everyone is an individual with their one likes and dislikes,preferences,fancies whims and plain quirks. If they give in to your wishes most times it is because they put your happiness above theirs and the fact that they do so is all the more reason for you to love them even more. There are times when what they want is completely different from what you want and it may aggravate you in no small measure especially when we know that this is the one thing in which they are not willing to put their desires behind yours. Does this totally negate all that they have done for you in the past? It doesn't and it should not too.
If you really care about a person the best thing you can do is this...Look out for them,if you see they are about to stumble into something that ll cause them pain warn them once gently. If they persist don't pressure them to change, dont ever say that you ll stop caring if they dont listen. Let that not be a knife hanging over their heads for it ll only lead them to feel as if their very soul is being slowly crushed out of them and most importantly if they do fall and get hurt resist the urge to tell "I told you so." Be there for them until they feel better and are confident of facing the world again. True.. This isn't the easiest thing to do if you see them getting hurt and they could have avoided the pain just by listening to you. But then who said being selfless was easy?
Until next time...
"If you love something so much let it go free. If it comes back to you it is yours to keep if not it was never yours to begin with."

1 Comment:

  1. vaishu said...
    you are writing everything from your heart aren't you.I could get it from the feel of the post

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