Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Yay :) The zeroth review is not tomorrrow after all. It is next week which is great. I have more than enough time to prepare for it. Today was sitting with my project mate Vaish and browsing for the FYP. Felt great to do something useful after a long while :P Have to submit a write up to sir. I must say something pricked me when Sir said we better pick up our pace of work. That something was obviously a guilty conscience :(

I wonder how I have such profound mood swings. One minute down in the dumps and next minute so buoyant. Some people are likely to think I am raving mad. There is a small project that we are supposed to submit for lab tomorrow. I hardly had any recollection of it until one of my friends asked me if I am going to do it. Speaks volumes about how sincere I am about the project :P

I must say not much idea of doing it. I hope we all escape tomorrow :)

Until next time,
Bella


P.S. It feels great to know you have people to care about you even if you act like the most horrible person in the whole world.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I wonder why it is only when you are sitting relaxedly thinking that you have no work to be completed urgently that something really really urgent comes up to strike terror in your heart. Here I was under the impression that our final year project's ( henceforth referred to as FYP ) zeroth review was not until next week and suddenly talks are flying around that it is day after tomorrow..

I am least prepared for it and it scares me. I don't want to end up as one of those people whose topic is rejected as being very simple. I am hoping that it is just a rumour and anxiously waiting for confirmation that it is so.

Unfortunately if the project review is day after, I want to do nothing better than this- run away, hide somewhere and never come out until Time somehow magically skips the day after..

Until next time,

Bella

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Most of the people I know have a cliched definition of honesty. It is most commonly defined as not to steal, being sincere in your work and in short it is always spoken about in relation to mundane everyday things. What about honesty in emotions? As far as I am concerned, it is the least bothered about kind of honesty and yet the most important of them all.

All of us, in one way or the other are defined by the people we surround ourselves with. Be they friends or enemies, our emotions towards them are the reason behind our actions. In expressing those emotions, how honest should we be?

It really depends on what kind of a person you are. Some people are not brave enough to tell the truth when it comes to emotions. If someone asks you how much they mean to you and this person is someone whom you care about a lot, then there is no room to be dishonest. You tell what you feel and the person goes away feeling happy that they mean so much to you.

Here is where the sin of omission ( a HUGE sin according to me ). Why do you want to hedge around the fact that some people mean more to you in some ways than they do? Granted, it may hurt people knowing that they weren't as important as they thought but it is far better than finding out later. It irritates me to no end when I find that people arent honest in this. I once read somewhere that to hide the truth is akin to lying. How true it is..

You may get away with lying about your emotions one twice thrice, but one day your actions will speak out louder than your words and by the time they do, too much damage will have been done to even try repairing it. Truth may hurt, but it is much much better than having your heart broken at a later stage.

Until next time,
"You will truly hurt someone only when you promise them something that you cannot give"

Monday, September 7, 2009

Just a thought

A company came to our college for placements today. I felt little lazy to reach college by 8 yet somehow managed it. The pre placement talk was a bore as usual and I let my mind wander off. It struck me that I was sitting in the same place I had sat for the placements earlier and they didn't turn out so well. I am a bit superstitious. Anyway lets see how it goes today. Third time lucky maybe?

That is not the point of the post though. As I was just recollecting things, I though about how I had performed in the last few placements. There were few companies that I was really looking forward to getting into and I did the tests with a lot of interest but I would not honestly say that I worked hard for them.

I put a lot of passion into those attempts and they didn't turn out so well. Few wise people suggested that I should stop expecting results and just do my best and leave everything to luck. I was and I still am sceptical. Isn't everything about heart? How can you want something so bad if you are not excited or enthusiastic about the results and the ensuing happiness that you will experience? It really seems contradictory to not want things with all your heart.

One great thing is that I got through to the GD round :) I didn't do well but I am happy I made it through to the GD round. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best for the future..

Until next time,
Follow your heart, be quiet for a while. ask the questions, then feel the answers. Learn to trust your heart for it will never lead you astray..

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Must see movie

I wanted my next post to be about something that touched me or affected me in a profound way. There is this movie that I watched long back called "The Deep End of the Ocean". I still remember sitting at my home and flipping channels looking for something interesting to watch and I came upon this movie which seemed to interest me.



I didn't get to watch the movie from the beginning when I first saw it but the I vividly recall the scene from which I started watching. It was the scene in which the police go to the home of George to inform him that his son Sam whom he lovingly raised all these years is really Ben Cappadora, who was kidnapped by his wife during her high school reunion.

Before I go into too much details about each scene, I'll just tell about the movie briefly. The Cappadoras are a close knit family. Pat Cappadora is the father and he owns a restaurant. Beth is a housewife and also a successful photographer. They have a son, Vincent who is as rebellious as they come in their teenage years and their younger daughter Kerry. Their younger son Ben went missing years ago when Beth attended her high school reunion and though they seem to have gotten over it, it has left a deep scar in Beth especially who held herself responsible for losing her son. One fine day, a young boy Sam turns up on their doorstep asking to mow their lawn and he bears an uncanny resemblance to her long lost son, Ben. Beth takes photographs and shows them to her husband and Detective Bliss who initiates an investigation and finds out that Sam is indeed her son Ben.

Ben is returned to the Cappadoras and the story is about how the family copes with up with Ben's return and how Ben is torn between his loving father who is devastated as it is and his biological parents whom he hasn't known at all until now.

The great thing about the movie is that it is not a sentimental tearjerker. It is so poignant in the way it portrays the feelings of each person. Beth, who feels relief at finding her son anguish when he is troubled and not able to fit into the family, Pat who can't comprehend the fact that Ben misses the only father he has known for all his life, Vincent who loves his brother just as much as anyone can but holds himself responsible for letting go of his brother's hand years ago and feels angry and deprived of his mom's love while she grieved over Ben's loss and Kerry who is blissfully ignorant of all the deep feelings running inside and welcomes Ben home without much fuss.

There were few scenes that touched me in particular. When Ben goes to visit Vincent in prison and tells him the only thing that he remembers from his brief childhood with the Cappadoras-getting locked up in a trunk during a game of hide and seek. Vincent asks him if he was scared and Ben says "No, I knew you will come find me".


Soon, Beth realises that things aren't working out and she decides that maybe Ben is better off with George after all and leaves him with his father much to the disappointment of Pat. Later that night, Vincent wakes up to find Ben in the courtyard shooting some hoops. He has his luggage with him and as Vincent talks with him,Beth and Pat watch them from the hall and the viewer realises that Ben has come home to stay after all.


I didn't know until recently that this movie was made from a book "The Deep End of the Ocean" by Jacquelyn Mitchard. Most movies made from books turn out to be a disappointment but if the movie is this good I am looking forward to reading the book soon. In short, if the words poignant and touching resonate with you, then this movie is a must see.

Until next time,
A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later- Stanley Kubrick

P.S. This movie indeed exemplifies this quote!!

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