Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Running away somewhere

Have you ever felt so angry and helpless that all you want is to run away to some place where no one can hear you and scream all your frustration away? What is it that hurts so much when the people who mean so much to you simply ignore you? Should we be understanding when they have their problems? Even if it hurts when each action is a thorn in your heart reminding you that there are distinctions that you had convinced yourself didn't exist?

No one has any idea of how much it hurts to stand on the periphery and watch things go by without you. Does the fact that you are not vocal about what you feel an excuse to treat you as if you were invisible even when you make it obvious that you are furious? Is it too much to expect people you think are close to sit with you and talk? Is it wrong to get tired of asking people to share? Sharing is something that you want to do spontaneously with someone..If that spontaneity is missing from that person, is it any wonder that you start feeling reluctant?

Standing outside a circle is hard. Even more so when you realise that your anger, sorrow, indifference and assorted other feelings dont elicit a response. Expressing what you feel isn't an option when all that runs through your mind is "What the hell.. they don't give a damn anyway" when you wonder if you are the last priority in all that is going on at one time and at other times you think all that is raging inside you is nothing but an reflection of feeling sorry for yourself.. It makes you want to rage at everyone and run away to a place where you just don't have to feel anymore..

P.S. It feels really bad when you have to indulge yourself in virtual screaming when you know that a few bouts of one-one screaming will make the blues go away and perhaps, just perhaps solve everything.

Until next time,
Bella

3 Comments:

  1. SG said...
    Nice post. I understand what you are saying. Yes, it hurts. There are so many fair weather friends in this world.
    HariHara Subrahmanyan said...
    hey dont worry da... Ur frenz wl understand u. Coz to be true its not the same for them too vthout u as it s for u. U ll enjoy the forthcoming days surely harin :)
    Harini said...
    @SG

    I wouldn't say fair weather friends, but when it comes to ppl closest to you it is true sometimes you wish things were a little bit more out in the open..

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